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So…I’m home! At my parents’ house, that is. Out of the hospital, all stapled up. This will probably just be a quick update, because my brain is still fogged, and my hands are still working all wrong, and as always, I don’t remember much that happened in the hospital.

Everything I do remember is in little snippets:

Riding to the hospital with my parents on Tuesday, in the dark, all doom and gloom and nerves. Ahead of us in registration a mom was checking in her nine-month-old little girl, and my heart broke about ten times thinking about the fact that the baby didn’t know she was about to have surgery, or what surgery was.

Waking up in recovery and (this is gross, sorry) throwing up all over my nightgown, and the nurses saying “we gave her a bag…she just didn’t throw up in the bag.” (#whoops)

My best friend coming to visit me and knowing when to empathize, and when to stop talking about my brain and just start telling me which makeup of mine she’d tried on that morning at my apartment.

Getting Jello onto a spoon without help on Wednesday morning. (My dad was proud. Is it sad when you can make someone proud using Jello?)

On Tuesday I made it through the first night after surgery, which hurt as much as it always does…is it just me, or is there just no pain medicine strong enough to help on that first night?

On Thursday we met with the radiation oncologist, and it was scary, but I think the decision’s been made to proceed on radiation after this incision heals up a bit. I’m not looking forward to it, but I think it’s the smartest decision.

I hope it’ll be round two & done. I hope that so much that I’m afraid to hope it — I don’t want to hope so hard it goes away, you know?

But it might come back, and it might not, and no matter what happens I have one plan: to live the mess out of whatever life I get, sick or well.

…I plan to get a head start on that as soon as I can sleep all this medicine out of my system, and as soon as things make more sense :)

–How You Can Pray–

Please pray for energy during recovery, a clean pathology report (still stage II) next Friday, and that this will be the last recurrence! I am so, so grateful for all of you & your prayers that have lifted me through this time! 

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