“God made us; invented us as a man invents an engine. A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us a happiness and a peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” // C.S. Lewis
God, I am selfish. I slip away from You an inch, and this is what I want, in the smallest, most self-interested way: I want to be happy by myself, in and of myself, without bothering about religion. Because when You are in my life, really in it, invading all of it, I can’t do things my way. I can’t ignore the parts of Your word and Your will that make me uncomfortable. I can’t hush, can’t be quiet, can’t work my hardest to conform to the culture around me so that You are in the background, and I am normal. Acceptable. Ready to impress.
God, please destroy this desire in me. Bring me back to the central question, which is: Have I ever been happy without You? Has a prolonged period of time away from You brought me anything good, anything lasting? The answer is no. Lord, fill me with real happiness and peace and joy in Your presence. Remind me that there is nothing else.