This article ran in The Appalachian’s Arts & Entertainment section.
There’s plenty to be said for a refined musical palate. Digging up old remixes of beautifully written and performed songs is a worthwhile pursuit, and I admire people who have the taste to do so.
I’m not one of them.
My taste in music is unfathomably, unarguably awful — and I’m proud of it.
Feel free to argue the point, but listening to bad music is one of the most fun things in the world. So, from a lover of terrible tunes, here’s a list of five very bad songs you should download right now.
5. “Beez in the Trap,” Nicki Minaj
I’ve never heard anyone admit to loving this song. But I’ve also never seen someone turn off the radio or use up a skip on Pandora when it comes on. “Beez in the Trap” is frenetic, bizarrely electronic and kind of obnoxious. And, like every other Nicki Minaj song, it’s also a blast to listen to. Just admit it.
4. “I Love College,” Asher Roth
This song is a solid three-and-a-half years old, and no one really liked it even then. Pitchfork said the single revealed Roth’s “hedge-betting callowness”. The Guardian called “Asleep in the Bread Aisle” an album for “thick-necked frat boy morons.” But here’s the thing: it’s relatable, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Identifying with dubiously insightful lines like “Don’t even bounce/not in my house” doesn’t mean you couldn’t also identify with a 20-page essay about the merits of academia. Relax.
3. Anything by Eric Church
OK, people like Eric Church, but no one sits around bragging about it. “Oh, I was listening to this Eric Church album on vinyl and…” You’re never going to hear that. It’s just not cool. But it should be, because Church is an Appalachian State University graduate and you can hear that up, down and around most of his songs. If you think you’re capable of driving on the Parkway and blasting “Carolina” without getting a little choked up, you’re probably wrong.
2. “Good Riddance/Time of Your Life,” Green Day
Every time this song comes on, someone has to point out that a) it’s overplayed and b) it doesn’t actually mean what people think it means. And to that I say, who cares? College is undoubtedly the time of your life and, even if you’re a freshman, it’s ending sooner than you think. “It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right” can mean whatever you want it to mean.
1. “Don’t Stop Believing,” Glee version
Yes. I know. Blasphemy. We should only ever listen to the original versions of songs, and because the Journey version of this is good, the version produced on a show about a high school choir can’t be good in a different way. Um, who made that rule? “Don’t Stop Believing” as belted out by Lea Michele and crew is weirdly autotuned and a bit too much, but it’s also the best bad song in existence.