Whether you’re an early grad or a super senior, an English major or pre-med, an East-sider or a West-sider…no one walks across the stage and shakes the Chancellor’s hand without learning these things:

 

The amount a human being can miss Zaxby’s, Sonic, Target, and Moe’s is truly infinite

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So is the amount of anon Twitters people are capable of creating

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Chancellor Peacock is the best person alive

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And no one remembers names and faces quite like this lady

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The deepest wisdom isn’t found in the classroom, but in the bathroom stalls on the first floor of I.G. Greer

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The most reliable scientific law: For every last-minute study session there is an equal and opposite ASULearn outage

00its

 

Human beings can survive much longer without sleep than you thought they could. Much. Much. MUCH. Longer.

00awake

 

There is no panic like making it to the front of the line in Central and realizing you don’t have this:

00appcard

 

The Hunger Games has nothing on the race to get a library table during finals week

00katniss

 

And if you actually get a study room, you basically feel like this:

00winners

 

Human beings will eat incredibly questionable food if it’s readily available

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Fashion is truly in the eye of the beholder

00hoodie

HPW-U-041810 213

 

It takes approximately two minutes to make your hands and face start moving again after walking across campus in a blizzard

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And approximately two years to realize the “Yosef” puns are never going away

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Oh yeah, and that Appalachian family thing you heard about during orientation? It’s real.

That’s the best thing you’ll learn.

And you’ll probably never forget it.

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