Look, I spend as much time on Pinterest as the next person. Okay, probably more. I have almost 800 pins, which probably classifies as an actual problem.

Pinterest is like shopping without money. I’m 22 and have very little money, so it works. Still, my time browsing DIY bathroom decorations and birthday cake flavored everything has left me with a few questions. For starters…

1. Why we gotta make everything out of burlap? There’s nothing wrong with it (besides its infernal scratchiness and the fact that it was literally used as backing for rugs) but does it seriously have to be involved in your wedding?

2. What child anywhere ever would eat something that looks like an infected worm? People who pin the hot dog spaghetti thing onto boards called “for the kiddos!!!” are living in another universe. The kids I’ve met in this stratosphere don’t even eat crackers that look funny.

3. When did dessert become a dip? This one’s just gross to me. If you’re making me dessert, make cake or pie or muffins. You can even get a little crazy and do that thing with the cupcakes in the mason jars. But cheesecake dip or s’mores dip or strawberry dip, with graham crackers for dipping? Just no.

And finally,

4. WHAT IS A PALLET?! I realize a simple Google search could solve this problem for me, but I prefer to remain ignorant about the origins of this splintery-looking scrap wood which, suddenly, everyone wants to use as building material for their beds and wine racks and sketchy outdoor furniture. Pretty soon we’ll be seeing pins for an entire pallet house, which is held together with Greek yogurt and decorated entirely in DIY rosettes.

Seriously Pinterest, what is your deal?